Complaints block possibilities! What Possibilities you do you want??

What if millions of  Possibilities are available to you?  Why don't you see them?

Ask yourself this... what is it that you want to achieve or have in life?   Is it important to you?  are you committed to making it happen?  Are you having trouble making it happen?

there is something that is holding you back from accomplishing what you want to do. Do you complain about not getting what you want?
Everyone, in every walk of life, has complaints. We all experience things that irritate us, anger us, hurt us, resist us, or just don't go as per our expectations.
When you complain; you are letting the very thing that you are complaining about have power over you.

 In a book called The Power of Now; Ekhart Tolle wrote :
  
" See if you can catch yourself complaining in either speech or thought about a situation you find yourself in. What other people say or do, your surroundings, your life situation, even the weather. See if you can catch yourself complaining. For to complain is always non-acceptance of what is and it invariable carries an unconscious negative charge". 
  
  
Complaining is a method of putting yourself in a powerless position.  When a person complains- they  make themselves a victim- and are not owning the result or the actions they took or did not take that created the result.
Consider this;  If you are committed to making something happen or to achieve something in your life- you do what ever you can- over any and all obstacles to make it happen. If things are not the way you want it - you adapt and push through and on toward your goal. Period. That is commitment!

Don't make yourself a victim. When you complain you are doing just that- and resisting you dreams & goals and the commitment you made to making them happen and to yourself !  Your Commitment to yourself is to give yourself what you want and deserve.  When you utter or think a complaint you are negating your dreams!!!!  YOUR COMPLAINTS NEGATE YOUR  DREAMS AND GOALS.
Let that Sink in!!!!

Complaining is a form of giving away your power! Your are;
 a)crushing your desires by negating them; and essentially saying that they are not worth fighting for - and your are not worth the effort to make your dreams come true.
b)You are giving your victimization priority over getting what you want. so you will need to ask yourself- are you really committed to the goal? If you are, put the goal as the priority- not the complaint.
c) You negate your own power and let the problem be more powerful than you.
d) It is creating a mindset that says you are not worthy of receiving the goal-  and going against the dream of having that wish fulfilled.
e) You are creating a imagined Drama! You are making a problem out of a mole hill- when it is not really a problem at all!  You create a Block and block yourself from getting what you want!! Get out of your own way!!!


I realize that some of these may be repeated a few times- That is because sometimes explaining it from a different angle helps to make the concept click with you- and you see it and how it affects you. Also, there are  subtle aspects or facets that may be similar- but are also just as important to distinguish!.

Complaining has no positive effects. it is a lose; Lose;LOSE situation! You have three choices; you can leave the situation; change the situation; accept it as it is;  and realize that you have the power to dissolve the complaint that does not serve you in any way.

I challenge you to catch yourself in the complaining,  and consider- what are you not willing to make a commitment to- and are deflecting  the blame  for?
Ask yourself these questions:  What am I really complaining about?  Find the real source of the complaint- what does it stir up ? and what you are not willing to act on?

When you are able to get the complaints out of the way- so they don't distract you- and you face the feeling or thought courageously that which the complaint is actually attempting to mask or deflect attention from- you will be able to see the possibilities when you eliminate the cloudiness that was caused by complaints.

Try it and see what you begin to notice..

here is to your Courage!

Questamaya

Carrots, Eggs or Coffee Beans Movie

I have to share this; because the wisdom contained shares am important lesson on the perspective we hold- and how the way which we CHOOSE to see the world-and face adversity- and how it can affect us.

I am curious to hear what you got from this video;


Carrots, Eggs or Coffee Beans Movie: All of us at one time or another have experienced a difficult situation, had setbacks, or dealt with our share of disappointment. Most things that happen to us on a daily basis we can't control and I can honestly say (with conviction) that it is not what happens to us that matters but rather, how we choose to respond.

A New start; Doing things differently

It is still a struggle. Now that I have gained a new insight, it is a constant struggle to make sure I align myself with this mindstyle and lifestyle thinking that takes me in the direction of freedom and possibility.
 this may sound like flowery words, but they are not. Why? simple.  All my life, I have thought in a way that just hindered me, and kept me stuck in a rut of same thinking.
I am endeavouring to change the thoughts that live in my mind. If I can get the constructive thoughts that build results to dominate my thinking- instead of destructive thoughts that distract and hurt me- then I will be in control of what my life looks like, and how it turns out.
It is about being in control of the thoughts instead of my thoughts controlling me.

It has been a week since I did the 3 day intensive course, and events in my life continue to show changes and amazing transformations.
The first think I am grateful for is the clarity of mind. The peace in my mind is amazingly tranquil. There are no thoughts to clutter my mind, so now I am aware of the beauty and situations around me. I see less judgements- and soon hope to completely eliminate judgements all together.
There is an energy that I now possess that keeps me going. I surprise myself at times

The mind chatter is of a positive nature- looking for solutions instead of the usual negative self doubt and criticism talk. It is a different feeling to not continuously defeat myself in my own mind.

I find that other peoples issues and dramas do not affect me. I choose not to be drawn into the drama- especially when they try to draw me in.  I find I am observing from a point outside of the drama, and am unaffected by their accusations, manipulation; blame; lies and viciousness.
 This is actually something that happened to me this past week.  Someone created an imagined drama over small insignificant details, took and interpreted a situation in a biased way.
 As this person began their tirade against me,  I could feel my ego want to rise up, but I let it go and just stepped back.  Almost like watching a movie.  the words did not affect me, I kept a clear mind and advised the person to stop and consider their choice of perception. My calmness and lack of reaction only made them angrier.  I choose not to be part of their drama, and the calmness and clarity made it that simple.
 Normally someone would get on the defensive in the face of an attack. Instead I asked her what was going on in their life to have them get that angry over nothing . It took the person aback- because I was not playing their game like they thought I would.
 I went after this person to ask what the real reason was for their anger, because their anger was obviously misplaced over something so insignificant. They avoided the question and continued to place blame on me.
I continued to be unaffected by their attack.
 Amazingly, the manager ( this person's friend) spoke to them about the misplaced anger.  The offender later apologized to me.

In any case, the people that in the past have been difficult to communicate with, I am no longer having trouble with, or i can separate myself from their crap.

Everyday is a new adventure to see how things are changing , and how I react differently to the events and situations that no longer have a hold on me.

I will continue to share the discoveries I make, about what has changed.
I wish all of you positive and constructive growth and change to become the best of your potential!

With all my heart

Questa

FREEDOM! of the past

OMG!  this is strange!
The world is wondrous, and when I look at it, all i do is look at it. I feel no need to judge it or define it, and my mind is free of the mental chatter that constantly used to do just that. I watch the world and feel peace and a calmness that tells me that what is out there does not define me. I define me.

I just took part in an intensive 3 day course to help get rid of whatever was holding me back. Going in was scary- because I did not know what I was going to face about myself. The experience was amazing..

The course I took was the Landmark forum. It is self-education on the subconscious level. Let me put it this way,  have you ever noticed that you do things that you know are going to come out wrong- but you do it anyway?  Like provoking your loved ones, and doing and saying what you KNOW is going to set them off, or why you keep attracting the same type of partner just to go through the same old drama you had promised your self you would never do again?  Do you want to know why you do it? This course helps you get to the root of all the stuff that truly makes you who you are- and you find out that you really are not as bad as you think you are- and neither is the rest of the world.
 Once you get all the crap from the past cleared out, you learn how to LEAVE it in the past. What does this mean?  It means not letting the events of the past affect what you do, think and say in the present, or in the future.  You let go of hurt, pain , fears, resentments, dramas, anger, suffering, and all the other stuff that holds us back from being all that we can be.

What have I learned about myself?

I have learned that I spend way too much time imagining stories and dramas about what other people are thinking about me. Most people are doing the exact damn thing- worrying about what people think about them. It is a waste of time, and ultimately, what you do in genuinely and authentically, does not matter what others think. And stop wasting your time trying to decipher what others are thinking.

I have learned that I have spent too much time blaming others instead of owning the fact that what I do and what I say is a result of my actions.  Instead of throwing blame on others, i am growing up and being responsible for what I contribute to any situation. This takes courage, and I learn I have the courage within.

I have learned that part of taking responsibility, is owing my own power and potential.  I have been making my self small and insignificant so i would not have to be responsible on a greater scale.  I have been afraid of the power that is within me,  and it was easier to be insignificant than it is to be powerful and responsible.

On a similar note- recognizing the power you are capable of , sometimes the success scares you more than the failure does, because you don't have to live up to expectations, or face the possibility of failure on the journey to you success.

I learned that any trauma that I experienced in the past, happened and can not be changed. I c an forgive myself for 'letting it happen"  or for 'not knowing that it should not have happened', or 'for making a mistake I did not know at the time was a bad idea." and for 'bad choices made".  Sometimes all it takes is to stop beating yourself up, and forgive yourself. These events served as a growing experience, and if you learned from it and changed things, or your behaviour or way of doing things, then holding on to the self punishment and destructive thinking just will not let you move forward. If you forgive yourself, you can leave it behind you. If you don't forgive the past, or your part in it; then you are forever ( yes FOREVER) going to be dragging it around with you mentally and emotionally.  It will just continuously drain the energy from you.
 kind of like a car dragging around a trailer. The trailer will cause wind drag, slow you down, and the strain on the car motor will eventually burn out the engine.  Let it go before you get burned out.

I learned that forgiving someone, can give you closure and peace, even if they don't want to give you forgiveness. If you forgive the incident or person, and yourself for having hung on to the resentment, you will find a sweet freedom that you never felt before. Whether the other person forgives you or not, does not matter. YOU have let it go. and that is all that matters. That person  can never affect you ever again.

I learned that speaking up and clearing up any issues immediately can close the issue then and there so you don't carry any anger or resentment into the future as more baggage.

I learned that more people than you realize have the same or similar issues, and in that sense we are really all connected. When you share with people, they will support you, understand you and are not out to get you. There really are good people out in the world.

I learned that any judgements or beliefs that i have about someone- actually reflects more about what I am like than what other people are like.  What we see in others, is our issues being projected onto others.

I learned the power of the words we speak and the thoughts we have. If you keep your word and honour your words then you begin to love, value and trust yourself. If you want to be considered a person of integrity, make sure your actions and words are of integrity.

 I learned that everyone is going through stresses and issues all the time and everyone needs to experience compassion.

I did learn a lot more than that. It was an amazing experience and I became part of a new community with the people in that group. There was a unique sense of family, and I am grateful for everyone there for their loving support, and for helping me heal by sharing their own stories.

I am moving forward into the new present and the future with all the possibilities I can create for myself. I feel free and peaceful, and a sense of excitement for all that is to come.
the possibilities are endless!

Here is to possibilities and peace for all of you!

~ Questa

Releasing emotional baggage

Releasing Emotional Baggage-
Claiming your Freedom

Currently, there is an opportunity to attend a guided self understanding seminar- where you face your inner demons, fears and  all the issues that stem from my past and release them so that they no longer hold me back- as I move toward a brand new start and going after my dreams without hesitation.

I can tell you, that ever since I decided to do this course, i have been experiencing A-ha moments and insights and the courage to voice and express what I kept quiet for so long.
The self esteem and confidence that has eluded me, is now something I am fighting for, as I begin to clearly see relationship dynamics that do NOT encourage the development of my self esteem. I had noticed certain patterns all my life, and never understood why they stood out to me. Now the pieces of the puzzle seem to be falling into place, as I choose to stop being a victim, and instead Volunteer to take the steps I need to take to become the person I want to be.

Have you ever noticed that certain situations seem to be a pattern in your life, even with different people in different situations? What if you were acting out a scenario that affected you as a child again and again? Would you like to find out the root of the issue so you doing have to go through deja vu?
 As we grow up, certain events and situations we experience teach us 'lessons' that we apply to all similar situations that will pop up in our life. We categorize and label people and situations based on the very first event we experienced. Whether that first experience was a good one - or usually a painful or disappointing or traumatic- we assign a thought , belief and emotion that will determine how we act and what we say in every situation like it- from here until the end of time.
That is how we find ourselves in repetitive situations, or find people and or relationships that treat us the same way, and re-create the same cycle again and again in our lives- even though the players change, and the location changes- our original "lesson" or "belief" has created a blue print - or the 'dance steps' that we repeated follow with each new person  that is similar in character as the original person ( or people) that we developed the first belief with.

This repetitive 'dance steps' becomes part of our baggage.

What if you found out that certain sets of thoughts and actions you make cause this to happen, whether it is about bad relationships, lack of money, issues at work, self esteem , motivation, fears and a slew of other issues that plague us in life. If you could find out what is causing the issue- would you want to take steps to change it?

The biggest revelation that hits everyone at some point in their life, is that if they want to change their current situation, there are certain thoughts, attitudes and actions that they have, that will need to be changed. Not everyone is willing to make those changes, and so, they end up stuck in the same life and situations until they die.

The Choice is always ours to make.  If we don't like the situation we are in- then change it. It is in our hands to do it. That is the Simple truth- it does take a lot of work, and can be very challenging- but very worth it. When you do the work to get rig of the baggage in your mind- you learn to permanently free yourself of that baggage.

In my situation, I have been working through issues of fear, self esteem, and toxic relationships.  There are other issues but for the sake of time and space, I am only going to cover two of these.

Toxic Relationships;

 One thing I have slowly been working on is how I let people treat me.  The Treatment that you tolerate from   people is how they learn how far and how harsh they can treat you- unless you demand from them respect from the very beginning.

 Since a child, a low self esteem has left me feeling unworthy of love, and the result was always destroying my self-worth by doing anything and everything for people just to earn love.  People got used to being treated like royalty by me- and instead of appreciating it, they abused it and expected to be treated like that all the time. 

 For the Longest time- what I did not realize was that I was setting myself up for being abused emotionally and used by so-called friends and family.  There was a series of people in my life who did this.

 It was not until into my twenties that I began to realize the negative relationship and the negative effects on my self esteem and happiness. 

 The hardest thing I had to do was cut myself off from the toxic relationships- especially when my attempts to communicate the problem and my need to change things, results in resistance or even more abusive treatment- in an attempt to keep you under their thumb.

It  is absolutely unbelievable- the extent to which an abuser (physical or emotional) will try to keep their 'punching bag' close by. One thing I would never tolerate was physical abuse- the emotional abuse is harder to detect.
 It is so subtle,  and you barely realize that their comments are slowly cutting away at you, jabbing at you and  flattening you at every turn.  They push and impose their ideas, feelings and thoughts so that they bulldoze over you.  Any time you try and express that you did not appreciate the words or actions- you are made to feel like you are being ridiculous. You are not allowed to stand up for yourself. These are just of the few things to watch out for.

 The decision to cut the ties was unbelievably difficult.  Ultimately I decided to look after myself, because if I did not- no one else would- and I would forever be a pawn for someone who just wanted to raise themselves up, by pushing me down.
 In one case I had made attempts to discuss deepening our friendship. This person agreed, but would later shut me out, interpret my words, turn others against me, refuse to communicate, and berate or humiliate me every chance they got.  Growth under these conditions was not going to be possible.

I thought long and hard. I agonized, because, I did not want to let go -but ultimately I decided to love and grow myself.

 After cutting the ties; it was slow and difficult to rebuild the emotional cracks and Swiss cheese that was my self esteem, and confidence. The decision was a big step toward regaining my self esteem.

However , not all toxic relationships can be discarded as easily. I have a parent that discredits my feelings.
I am not angry about it, because I love this parent. I do try to communicate that what they do is hurting me or that some treatment is extremely and obviously unfair.
This person's response?  " Oh you should not feel that way! Those feelings are wrong! Why do you interpret things so negatively?"

 I have noticed that this parent, when I share my feelings about something that they did that is disturbing and hurting me,  always tends to discredits and diminish any feelings of hurt as the result of their own action.
 It occurred to me recently- that this pattern was significant, because they were dismissing my feelings.
 when  I confronted this person with this fact- again they said that I was interpreting things so negatively. I can understand and am aware of how interpretations can create a personal sympathy story. This is not one of those cases. Why? because certain reasoning does not add up and is one sided.
 When confronted- this person says: " Well, I am just saying what I feel, and I have a right to say what I feel"

I then respond with;  " yes that is true, so please tell me why- when I try to say what I feel, and exercise that right- you tell me I am wrong and should not be feeling that way???? Why are your feelings more valid or more important than mine?????"
.....silence.

Now at this point, getting them to agree is not necessary. Standing up for myself and making myself heard was a huge step forward and upward. Why?  Because I am standing up for myself , expressing what I feel, and have finally gotten the person to listen.
 I made my mark by achieving that alone!  It doesn't matter if the person gets it ( or is too stubborn to get it).

Looking back, and seeing that I grew up with this manipulative reasoning, and as a result-I was always questioning and doubting myself !  After years of the same dance with this person- this one moment revealed the layout of the relationship and how it was playing out.
 I do not hate this person,  actually the opposite is true...I love them with all my heart. Now that I have seen and can recognize how the 'drama' or act normally plays out, I can now mentally step back form it and realize it for what it is. Once I see it ( the situation)  for what it is- I can choose to change how I take part in it- or how I let it affect me.  It will take a little time to be able to 'master' all the situations- but the results will come. The baggage slowly ( or quickly) gets left behind.
Then it  hits me,....  I    AM   FREE!!!
Once I see it, I identify it, I get better at not letting it affect me; and then I CHOOSE a different outcome!

Working on yourself is so important.  There have been things or beliefs within me that are holding me back from being all I can be, and reaching the potential I KNOW I have within me.

To me there is nothing more valuable that self development and self discovery of who you are and what your potential really is.

For now I am going to leave the topic as is.  I will have to cover the other topics later.

Here, is to reaching YOUR full potential, so that you can reach all your dreams and Goals.

Hugs

Questa