The Price of Being Strong

The Price of being strong.          


   When you feel uncertain or scared, there are those people that seem to know what they are    
   doing, and always bring a sense of safety and peacefulness to any situation.  You always 
   go to them when you need guidance or direction on something happening in your life.  You 
   know they will listen to you, give insight or an opinion and would never steer you wrong, 
   because they care.
   
   Everyone has someone in their life that is a ROCK in whom then can trust and get support 
   like no one else. They offer strength to friends, family and community, when those people 
   they care about feel lost, weak, scared, confused or unsure.  Who do you know in your life 
   that is that Rock? There is usually someone that pops into your mind right away. If you 
   have more than one you are truly blessed.

    I highly recommend that you never take them for granted. Learn from them. Follow their 
    lead on how to approach challenges and how they view and deal with situations in life.  
   Learn from their example, and apply it to you life. 

   WHY?
   Simple.  As Much as they are a blessing in your life- they are there to show you how to 
   become that person of strength for YOURSELF. There will come a time when you will have 
   to rely on your own strength, knowledge and confidence to get you through whatever 
   challenge you face, and perhaps your own friends and family will rely on you for your help 
   and support. Many Strong people end up becoming towers of strength – or cornerstones in 
   their communities.

    These people are strong because they most likely have gone through and endured 
   something difficult in their lives,  that has helped forge them and become stronger and 
   tougher- and seemingly impervious to the turmoil happening around them. They have 
   learned what is worth worrying about and what is only a waste of time, and thus zero in on 
   what needs to be addressed without the distractions to cloud their vision.
   
    By this same way they have gained understanding and vision of something better, ( having 
   learned what they DO NOT want through their experience) and are constantly striving for 
   that which is better.
   They have done the time and the work through a lot of suffering to get to that point. If you 
   want to be strong, you have to be willing to do the same. Having a person like this in your 
   life who can show you through their example and through their guidance how to navigate 
   the challenges you face so that you can also know how to eventually be strong enough to 
   handle those challenges on your own.

   You cannot be strong without facing pain. You must also face your fears. It is that simple. 
   Strength is the badge of pain and suffering endured and overcome.  It can’t be added with a 
   holster, fists or intimidating words.  Strength is a part of who you are, and no one can take 
   that away from you once it has been forged into your soul.

   Be aware that everything strong must also have the flexibility to be able to adapt and move 
   with the flow- especially when the stress is high.  Anything that is inflexible will crack 
   under extreme pressures.  Even skyscrapers must be able to have the flexibility to deal 
   with the high winds and slightest earth movements.  Cities built in earthquake zones have 
   learned the importance of this.

    This also applies to these people in our lives that create that security and sense of peace 
    in the certainty and confidence that they have.  However, there are times that they do feel 
   afraid or nervous. Everybody feels that. The difference is whether you are able to  push 
   past the fear, make the decision and do what needs to be done.

   However, every strong person does have their vulnerable moments, or even needs to be 
   able to have moments where they are NOT required to be strong,  and just be for a brief 
   moment – free of the responsibility.  Those moments help to create some balance in our 
   lives.
   Life continues to challenge everyone, and as we grow on different levels of awareness, we 
   also go through the cycle of feeling scared or uncertain in the moments at the very 
   beginning of new growth and understanding.  Strong people work through it. Occasionally 
   they need to allow themselves to be vulnerable in front of another.  They just need to be 
   heard and release some of the stress they have been under. Everyone needs to be albel to 
   let go and not have to be ‘strong’ from time to time.
   
    It is like expecting your body to be awake and active everyday of your life without any 
   rest or recovery. If there is no down time, there will be a breakdown and disintegration of 
   -the system or organism.  The same thing applies to our mental and spiritual health.
    When people rely on you, it is a huge responsibility, and usually those people will not 
   "accept” if you to show any vulnerability.  A few mistakenly see vulnerability as a 
   weakness.
   What they don’t realize is that a leader who can show some vulnerability, is able to 
   connect and bond more closely with the people he leads.  When they can relate to you 
   they feel closer to you.  When they feel closer to you, there is a greater sense of 
   community and loyalty.



  ( UNofficial) rules to being a strong person ( based on observation)
   1.    Need to have suffered and endured a lot- learning and growing from each and every
         experience.

   2.   You  Need to be willing to face pain and anything that scares you. It is through this
         experience that you gain self confidence, courage and begin to gain mastery over your
         fears  that have kept you prisoner for so long.

   3.   Through the process you need to be honest with yourself and really get to know 
       yourself. Why you do things and what and how your tend to act or react. This is a 
       necessary step to  get out of old fearful habits so that you can grow and learn what you 
       need to.

   4.  Have Compassion and to be willing to help others. Know that people will naturally flock to 
       you for help. Make sure you help them to learn how to become independently strong. They 
       need to be their own source of strength.

   5.   As great as it is to be trusted and relied on- there will come a point when people will 
       become dependent on your strength and begin to have a draining effect.  Recognize it 
       and put a stop to it. If you don’t you run the risk of a developing an unhealthy co-
      dependent relationship

   6.   Make sure you have time for your own rest and recovery. You will need time for 
       yourself. If you do not set that time aside you can easily get lost ans wrapped up in 
       helping everyone else- and losing yourself along the way.

    7.  Realize that you will need time to be vulnerable.  If your source of strength has a 
       moment of vulnerability, it is not a sign of weakness,.. it is a sign that they you are 
       human and also need support.  Give it to yourself.  Support and be there for them (those 
       that are strong) and listen to them as they have given you listening and support. Never 
       betray a person’s moment of vulnerability.  They will never betray yours. They have 
       also given you a space to be vulnerable, give them the same privilege. 

    8.  Have someone you trust, so you can be able to let go of the reigns from time to time, 
       and know you are in good confidence and are loved and respected by them.

    9.  You need to understand and be aware, that through the WHOLE process (including
        the moments of low points as well as high points) that you are working toward
       something unique and well worth the struggle. Namely a better stronger you.
       NEVER GIVE UP!!

    10. You will have to learn to love yourself, and forgive yourself, and in doing so you will 
       find love, compassion and empathy for others.

    11. When you make a decision, stick to it.  Making a decision will take weighing the 
       optionscarefully- of course. Once you have made your decision, you make it because
       you believe it is the best choice for this situation- AND you are also aware of, and 
       willing to accept the consequences that come with that decision. Your decisiveness
       shows conviction and certainty, and that you will not back down when you believe it 
        is right.

    12. Being human, you will make mistakes.  Own up to them. Never pass the blame to 
       someone else. You earn respect if you show that you will stand your ground and be 
       accountable.

    13. Be willing to take it ALL on and take it all as it comes- the good, the bad and the ugly. 
       Know that there will be challenges. There will be tests that push you past your limits. 
       Just know that all of it is going to make you a stronger you. You don't have to know 
       HOW, you just have to know that it will.

    14. There will be many, many, many times that you will want to quit. Remember that you 
       chose to go the long haul for this. Remember that anything worth attaining is worth all 
       the pain and suffering endured.

    15. People  will lack the understanding you have gained, and will fight you on certain 
        issues. Be prepared for it. and remember what it was like to be in that position. Always 
        treat people with respect as you would want someone to treat you with respect if the 
        roles were reversed.

    16.  It can be lonely.  Not many people endure or reach this level of strength &confidence,
       or even standards or possibly ethics when you stand for something.  Finding few
       people that can discuss on a different level of understanding, issues or topic- and even
       understand your reasoning for the choices or sacrifices made. 

    17. It takes discipline.  This is huge.  Reaching different levels and goals and your 
       achievements- does take a lot of commitment and discipline. 


   I could probably elaborate more on some, and may in the coming weeks, and will probably 
   post more as I notice more character traits come forth from the strong people.

   Wishing you a happy holiday season.

   All My Love;

       ~  Q